Walking in Someone Else’s Shoes

They say for me to love myself. But what does that mean when you’re so busy loving everyone else? I pull my curls up to hide my uniqueness. Trying hard to fit in the crowd but even still, I seem to stand out from the rest. Not realizing that I was the odd ball for a reason. Struggling to love my weirdness, I look in the mirror and tear myself apart. Asking myself why can’t I be like the next?

I hear my inner voice saying “Because you are special!” while the other voice is telling me I am nothing more than what I see. Nothing more than the off brand clothes and used items handed down to me. As I’m developing into a woman, any attention I get I soak up like a sponge, because this feeling is different than anything I’ve felt before. I ask myself who am I? Am I the girl I see in the mirror, so full of doubt and insecurities? Or the woman I feel trying to fight her way to the surface? The woman that’s full of love, power, and greatness?

Why can’t I find the strength to let the voice I hear express itself? What’s wrong with me? I feel like I’m walking in someone else’s shoes; pretending to be plain Jane with nothing to say just to fit in, but screaming inside because I have so much that needs to be said. As I continue to grow and meet people, I start to find my voice. Dealing with my childhood and loving myself more. Sometimes I catch myself still slipping back into those old shoes.

To be continued…

So what does BU mean to me? It means learn to be true to myself. Love every weird and unique thing about myself with no shame. It’s about learning to use my voice to speak MY truth. And about learning to say who I am with confidence and power.